Forever Falling
by NantekottaXD
Summary: We all sometimes get lost in our thoughts, and we all know that's a dangerous place. What would happen if Izuku where to get lost in his own thoughts again.(Izuku was captured during the USJ incident and escapes, he falls back into depression and struggles to keep it a secret.How much longer can he last like this?Will he finally break? References to suicidal thoughts)
1. Chapter 1

Forever Falling

**please leave a review**

We all sometimes get lost in our thoughts, and we all know that's a dangerous place. What would happen if Izuku where to get lost in his own thoughts again. Just like when he was quirkless.( Izuku was captured during the USJ incident and escapes, he falls back into depression and struggles to keep it a secret. How much longer can he last like this? Will he finally break?)

**( This is my first FanFic, and piece of writing i've put public so plz feel free to give me any criticism I don't mind :3 )**

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**(WARNING! Their will be references to suicidal thoughts throughout this fic, if you are sensitive to these kinds of topics then this is probably mot the FanFic fore you.)**

His footsteps echoed behind him fading into the dark and damp streets. The icy cold rain came down on him like a wall of bricks chilling him all the way down to his bones.

_I have to keep running! _He thought, as his pace began to slow _But, i ́m just so . . . tired. _The boy came to a slow walk. His head hung low and his eyelids began to shut. _No! I can't stop now! They'll find me, and it'll all be for nothing! _He quickly bobbed his head up and slightly opened his eyelids in determination. His legs sluggishly lifted from the ground but gave out from under him bringing him crashing to the ground, and skidding against the cold and wet sidewalk. He laid there panting from exhaustion letting the freezing rain beat against his skin.

_If only I was stronger this never would have happened, but they never came for me. I waited, hoping they would come, but they never did. And now i ́m out, and this is how I die? _His breathing slowed and the cold rain seemed to no longer have an effect on him. _At least Kacchan is finally getting what he wanted. _He let a week smile spread across his pale face, and his faded eyes began to shut beneath his ruffled green hair. He laid their wet, cold, and motionless welcoming the sweet release of death with open arms.

¨he's over hear! ̈ A voice echoed faintly in his head _ Voices? But whose are they? Has the league found me, and they've come to take me back? No! It's not them, _̈ Hurry Shota call an ambulance!̈ _could it be! No, it's too late for me and, what if I don't want to wake up?_

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**Authors Notes: I know this is short, but I hope to make them longer if you would all like a second chapter. I also wont be able to upload new chapters on a set date and time regularly because of my schedule, so if I take a wile do know I have not forgotten about it.**

**(I hope you enjoyed this short piece. Let me know if you would like a second chapter, and plz leave advice on how I can improve my writing, thank you. :3 )**


	2. Chapter 2 - Better off Dead

**Hey guys! I know it's been a while but I'm back! I hope all you kind people that read my work like the new chapter! And feel free to leave a review on how I can improve my writing, thank you and enjoy!:3**

Ch.2: Better Off Dead

He opened his eyes to a blinding light. His vision clouded like a foggy window, and his head pounding like a drum. The whole room seemed to spin faster and faster by the minute, and the ringing in his ears only seemed to grow louder.

He closed his eyes tightly and let out a soft grown. Clenching the bed sheets he stiffened, waiting for the pain to subside. He laid there for what felt like an eternity until he seemed to relax, and his muscles loosened. The pounding seemed to decrees to only a small thumping in the back of his head, and his vision seemed to clear.

He slowly rose to a sitting position letting his messy green hair cover his faded eyes. He placed a pale hand on his head and grasped his hair. _W-where am I? _He thought to himself, letting out a shuddering breath. He peered around the room observing his surroundings. _I appear to be in the hospital. D-Do-_

"D-Deku!" A female voice said in surprise interrupting Izuku mid thought. He rested his faded eyes on a flustered burnett with pink cheeks.

"Uraraka san-" Izuku mumbled in surprise. _I can't believe it's really her. After all this time, and now she has to see me like this. God i'm such a disappointment! _" I-I cant believe its you I-" he stopped mid sentence, and his gaze turned towards the many bandages covering her arms and neck. 'What are those bandages from?" Izuku asked cold and suddenly.

"O-oh these?" She said nervously pointing at her arm." Their nothing really, just a few scrapes I got from fighting a few villains, nothing to worry about!" She said faking a bubbly tone, and rolling her shoulder wincing every now and then from pain.

_I knew it. I really am a burden._ Izuku stated in his mind, getting further lost in thought._ She probably got them trying to look for me, and getting into villain fights on a regular basis_._ Maybe I was better off rotting to death in that place instead. That way no one would have gotten hurt, or have to suffer the pain that I did. Maybe… maybe I'm just better off dead._


	3. Chapter 3 - No Light

**Chapter 3 - No light**

'His eyes they seem so faded' Uraraka thought 'There's no light in them anymore, not like there used to be.' She looked down at the ground with a pitiful expression "Deku I- '' She was cut off suddenly by Aizawa and recovery girl walking in on them.

"Midoriya your awake." Aizawa blurted out suddenly. He quickly regained his serious manor and roughly spoke " Uraraka, please leave me and Izuku. We need to discuss a few things." She eyed him with a sad expression hoping he would change his mind, but his ferm eyes felt like ice against her skin, and told her otherwise. She slowly stood up and quietly left the room, and with that it was just Izuku, Aizawa, and Recovery girl, or otherwise known as chiyo shuzenji.

"Good, now that it's just us Midoriya we would like to run a few tests and ask you some basic questions." Aizawa spoke calmly. He looked at Izuku whose eyes widened a bit, and a glint of fear could be seen on his face.

"W-what kind of tests." He suddenly spoke stuttering each word. He quickly covered his mouth with his hands as though he had said something wrong. " I-i'm so sorry for blurting out, I-I just, never mind. . ." Izuku looked down in shame and slowly lowered his hands away from his mouth.

Aizawa made a note of how Izuku reacted to this on a sheet of paper he had attached to a clipboard. " we'll start with your basic check up stuff like blood pressure height weight etc." Aizawa spoke flatly. " Then we'll move on to X-rays and blood samples." Aizawa swore he thought he saw Izuku flinch at that last part, but he wasn't sure why. Again he scribbled down on his paper making another quick note of that. "Why don't we begin with taking your blood pressure. " Aizaw said, looking at chiyo who turned to the wall and began to detach the sphygmomanometer ( Sphyg-mo-ma-nom-e-ter. The blood pressure meter. ) off the wall.

" You're going to have to roll up your sleeve so I can take your blood pressure." Chiyo said. She could see Izuku look at her nervously. 'Why?' she thought. 'What is he so afraid of?' Chiyo soon got the answer to her question as Izuku reluctantly lifted the sleeve to the baggy ragged shirt he had been given while missing. Time slowed, like a clock whose gears slowly wound down becoming a faded echo, both Chiyo and Aizawa couldn't believe the scene that lay before them. Their faces were horror struck and all they could think at that moment was 'If only I had gotten their first.'

**Hey! I know it's been a while but like I said before, my upload schedule isn't solid. Especially now because I'm moving so I've been way busy but anyways, I'm alive! And thanks to all who've been reading my weird fanfic, and I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! :3**


	4. Update

**Update**

**Hey guys. I know it's been a while and I havent posted in a long time, but i've been dealing with a lot of stuff like how i'm moving, and just some emotional stuff and haven't really found the motivation to really do anything. But I'm doing ok now and I'm going to start writing again, just wanted to let you all know that I haven't forgotten or anything so please be patient, thank you.**


	5. Chapter 4 - Past

_**Chapter 4 - Past**_

"_Oh were going to have so much fun together." His voice echoed nonstop in my head. " I'll break you over and over and over again! Until there's nothing left of you!" _He said with a crazed laugh revealing his many "Toys"._ I can still hear the metal scraping it rings nonstop in my ears. The way they collided together as he whent to use a different one, each growing increasingly more painful than the last._

_I can still feel the wounds fresh on my skin. Each time a new syringe was stabbed into my arms, every time my body was cut open. It's as if the pain is never truly gone; it's always lingering, to torture me forever, but I deserve it. I was never meant to be a hero; it was fate for me the moment I was born. I'm a mistake that needs to be corrected. Katchan was right, I really should have taken a swan dive off the roof, but I didn't listen and now I'm getting what I deserve._

_I can still hear the words that were said to me back then before any of this happened. They leave their own wounds etched into my mind, staining my mouth with a bitter taste. I decided to punish myself well before the world took action. I guess the world thought I couldn't even hurt myself right. Every cut I made is a reminder of how screwed up I am. Each one symbolises something that's wrong with me. _

_The first time I started to feel the way I did was around the age of three. My mother and father started to argue a lot more back then. "I work so Damn hard for this family yet no one seems to care! And you! You're manipulative and passive aggressive! You do this all on purpose just to cause a big scene and make it all about you! And think about what kind of an example you're seting for him! And then you go and make me scream and yell making me look like the bad guy! You're turning him against me just like you mother did with you!" _The man yelled with venom laced words. _I can't help but feel the reason they argued was because of me. I was a mistake that needed to be fixed, or removed. I prefer to be removed, but I guess the world had other plans._

_When I found out I was Quirkless that's when things started to fall apart. " Everybodys just so useless around here and can't do anything. And you aren't any help!" _ He yelled pointing at Inko _" And here you go doing your habitual response with your 'o-okays' and 'sorrys' but it doesn't mean anything! And see now I'm yelling again in front of the kid looking like I'm the bad guy!" He would yell at her and twist her words for hours. The longest "argument" i've ever been there for was eight hours long, but my mom said some have been longer than that. The worst part about it was he forced me to sit, stand, or whatever and watch the whole thing go down. He said it was the only way he could get her to admit she's wrong and stop arguing, but it's not true she was hardly ever wrong, She's too sweet, loving, and kind to be. Sometimes I would get lucky, and they would be in the bedroom and I could avoid most of it, but they always start out being about me, and about how embarrassing I am, or I'm being turned against him and that she's trying to get me to hate him. But he did it to himself, and now I loathe him._

_For some odd reason he never argued with me, at least not until one time when I was seven just before he left. I have been diagnosed with ADD and Anxiety my whole life and would get Anxiety attacks at home and school often. Sometimes they would be so bad that I would feel like i'm suffocating and like I was going to pass out. " Go get out of my sight I can't look at you!" _He yelled furiously pointing to the door upstairs. _I'll never forget those words. It only proves my point, I'm Worthless. A mistake. It wasn't intentionally, I didn't mean for it to happen. I just couldn't control it._

_It all started when he had asked me to do something but I couldn't do it, because I was afraid, an irrational fear that I couldn't shake. I tried, he even said a few things to try and "help" me. But I couldn't do it. After what five minutes he was getting pissed " Do you know how__ insulting __this is! I'm giving you advice and you're __refusing__ to use it! That's just __so__ insulting to __me__!" He was so mad at me for an irrational fear that I just couldn't get over. I tried to move and do what he asked but my body wouldn't listen. Then I could feel it. A horrible uneasy feeling bubbling inside my chest._

_I was about to have an Anxiety attack. If I have an anxiety attack it'll just make things worse. No no no no no! I kept repeating over and over inside my head. Dad was fuming and yelling something else to me but I couldn't focus on what he was saying. All I remember is seeing the look of anger on his face and feeling cornered. It was all over. I covered my face with my hands as I started to hyperventilate. I thought if I could just gain control of this and stop before it gets bad then he won't be as mad. But then I started to cry a little and he lost it. He was yelling something but I only caught bits and pieces of it." You're acting like a __five__ year old who's throwing a temper tantrum, you're __eight!__" That only made it worse. " I can't __believe this__, it's just insulting." and then he said it,_

" _Just go! Get __out__ of my __sight!__ I can't look at you!" I looked up at him while hyperventilating and crying. I saw him pointing at the door that led upstairs "__Just__ go!" And so I did. I ran saying "I - I'm sorry!" through tears and broken up words. I ran all the way upstairs to my room bawling and hyperventilating. I opened and slammed the door then crashed onto the floor as my Anxiety attack got worse and my thoughts began to race around my head. Now it wasn't just an Anxiety attack. Now I really was crying. It took me a few minutes but the crying eventually subsided and then I began to feel dizzy and light headed. I noticed I couldn't hardly breathe, my chest felt closed off and I felt as though I was going to suffocate and die. I tried to get up but I couldn't. My body wouldn't listen so I just laid their hyperventilating, watching as my vision started to blur._

_I don't know how long I was there on the floor but my mom eventually came to see me. Apparently she had gotten into an "argument" with dad over what happend. Of course he won, he always does. After that day at school I heard some kids talking. It was about how they heard what cutting was and they saw someone with scars the other day, then it hit me. Maybe if I cut I'll feel better. And I was right. I did feel better._

_My dad left a few months after the incident and never came back. I don't know where he is but we made a silent vow to never speak of him again. Ever since then I've resorted to cutting. It feels as though it's a form of punishment. It reminds me of how messed up I am. But for some sick twisted reason I always feel better afterwards. Maybe because it gives me a sense of control knowing I'm the one who's hurting myself. It's weird and hard to explain. All I do know is I deserve to be punished and I should have died a long time ago. _

_But now I'm here to pay for my mistake(s). Stuck in an endless torture. Forced to live a life of humiliation, watching everyone live out their happy lives while I watch wishing I could just fit in like the rest of them. Even if I was given All Might's power I still can't do anything right. I'm a failure and a waste of Aizawa's time. People act like they're my friends, but I know they only take pity on me. They're just doing it to be like a hero, to be kind to make themselves look good. But I know they talk about me behind my back, about how stupid I am and "how could someone like him make it into the hero course?" and "How come he always gets hurt?" _

_I never should have believed I had a chance. I should just give up. I mean everybody always tells me to. It's not like anyone will miss me anyways. If anything I'll become a thing of the __**past**__, to be forever lost and forgotten._

**Hey guys! I told you I would be back! Anyways this chapter is about Izuku's past and what he went through emotionally, along with what happened with his father. It took me a bit of time to write because a lot of what Izuku is remembering is taken from my own personal experiences. So it was a bit hard for me digging up some feelings, but I mainly wrote this because I use writing as a form of coping. But um yeah, that's mainly it. Aside from that, if anyone has any ideas on where I should take this story leave a review to let me know because I didn't plan this one out. XD (I really should have.) I hope this one was ok and it's a bit longer than the other ones but, till next time! :3 And be careful of the coronaVirus!**


	6. Forever Falling Update

**Hey guys I'm so sorry to have to do this but unfortunately i'm going to have to discontinue writing Forever Falling. Due to the fact that I am moving I can no longer write this because I will not have access to a computer to write it on. I am so sorry but maybe Sometime in the future if I save up enough money I can buy one. Hope you all are surviving the coronavirus okay and are keeping busy. Stay strong and sayonara.**


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